I have been told that I am “beautiful” for a while. I knew what pretty was, but “beautiful”… well, I could not really understand that one. I responded every single time for a while, “I’m not beautiful, I Dorian.” My Mama and Daddy laughed at me, but I was serious. I know who I am… I AM DORIAN.
The other day, though, my sister Adalyn took me upstairs to her room, and she put me in some of her dress clothes that she is too big for now. I tried on dress after dress, and Adalyn called down to my Mama and told her that she couldn’t come up to see what we were doing. Mama usually won’t listen to that one because it can mean trouble, but this time she waited for the surprise.
Then we tried it… the most fancy white dress that looked like a princess dress. It was a teeny bit big on me, but it was just the right one. Adalyn smoothed out my hair and brushed it, and then she put on the finishing touch, blue clip-on earrings that made me just like the princesses that I watch. I felt so very pretty.
When I walked down those stairs, just like a princess would in my fancy shoes and earrings and dress, I felt different. I felt so very grown up and big, but I did not know the word for how I felt.
Then Adalyn said it. She said, “Look Mama, doesn’t Dorian look so beautiful?” My Mama said, “Oh Dorian, you are so very beautiful. You look like a princess.” For the first time, I did not argue back. I knew what it meant, and I was… I was beautiful, just like the flowers outside and the stars in the sky. Beautiful is how you feel. Beautiful is flowers and trees and sunshine and mountains and water. Beautiful is me. I am Dorian, and I am beautiful.
Spring has finally come, and with it are beautiful things in all kinds of colors everywhere. I love seeing all of the bright pinks and whites and yellows and purples that the Earth has this time of year. I stop to see (and smell) all of the flowers. After all, isn’t that what you are supposed to do? I know that it takes longer, but enjoying the world is what us little people do. We are really good at noticing what big people miss sometimes… after all, we are closer to the ground, and we have a better view.
My very favorite flower is the dandelion. My Mama says that is her very favorite too because my Daddy calls her his dandelion, so it is very special for her. Dandelions are “weeds” though so I hear, which is a type of flower that a lot of people want to get rid of. Why they would want to make any flower go away I don’t know, but my Daddy says that they can take over the yard and they can go everywhere with their little blooms, so a lot of people don’t like them because they just want green grass and nothing else in the yard. Doesn’t make sense to me, but big people often don’t make any sense at all, so I just have to go with these things when I don’t understand them.
What those big people don’t understand is that Dandelions are really special flowers because they start as one thing and become another. They start out as little yellow flowers, then that part goes away, and then there are little bitty white fluffy seeds that blow in the wind and make new yellow ones all over the place. This, my Daddy says, is why the are called a weed, because they end up all over the place when the little seeds blow around. There end up being too many, he says. Silly big people… don’t they know that there can never, ever be too many flowers?
I think that my little dandelion friends are beautiful, and I do my part to help them to grow instead of stomping them down. Us little people (and big people who never wanted to grow up like Mama and Daddy) get to grab the white puffballs and blow on them, making their seeds go up in the air into the wind to go to new places to grow. They do this on their own, but I like to think that I am helping nature along to be faster when I spread them around.
I am busy making brand new dandelions, and they are all so very beautiful, just as nature intended them to be. We are all like dandelions if we want to be, beautiful little flowers that are wild and free and can move in the wind.
My Nana bought me a little magnet drawing pad to use in the car as I get bored these days really easily, and my Mama and Daddy are not “stay still” kind of folks. I love my new board so much because I love to draw. I draw on paper all of the time, but I have a hard time with the pen sometimes, and I run out of paper. When that happens, sometimes my art has spilled onto the furniture and a few of my toys. My Mama says, “Only on the paper, Dorian,” and I know and understand, but it is really, really tempting to keep making art everywhere that I go.
With my little magnet pad, though, I never run out of room to draw, because when I get tired of my picture, I just make it go away and then I start right over again with a blank magnet page. I can do this as many times as I would like, and there are no art accidents that way. Everyone is happy.
In that picture up at the top, those are two pirates. When I drew them I told Mama and Daddy, and Mama took a picture of me making my art. Mama thought that they were ghosts, but that is the beauty of art… we can all see different things.
Sometimes I draw something really scary to me, though, and I have to scratch it out really fast before erasing it because that takes longer. Our minds can sometimes create really weird things when we do not mean for them to, just like when we dream and things start to go wrong and everything gets dark. I don’t know why the scary guy came out on the magnet pad, but I made him disappear, and fast.
No matter what, though, scary mind people or not, I am going to keep making art and making pictures on paper and on my magnet pad. It is the way that I can show the world that there are so many beautiful pictures in my mind… and those pictures can become my art on canvas.
When I woke up this morning, the first thing that I wanted to do after getting dressed was the have my Daddy fix my hair. My Daddy is the hair-fixer-upper in the family. Mama says that she is worried that she will hurt me while pulling it up, so she lets Daddy take over on that one. My Daddy is so, so gentle with his soft brush that I hardly feel it, and he sings and talks me through while he is getting my hair all pretty. My Daddy, he can be magical sometimes, especially when he sings to me.
There he is working that magic. It may not stay completely put together all day (because really, I play rough, and when I am busy being a toddler hurricane, my hair is the least of my worries), but it still stays away from my face, and my Mama says I still look like a beautiful princess even when it gets a little messy. After all, isn’t that what life is? Getting everything all put together just so you can work to mess it up again?
There I am, already working to undo the beautiful work that Daddy did. Play hard, but always look absolutely gorgeous when you do. 🙂
Little people know, but big people sometimes forget, that it is okay to get a little dirty sometimes. Being in nature, rolling around in the leaves, is sometimes the very best thing that you can do. Our world is big and beautiful, and if you just look at it but don’t become a part of it all, you are missing out. Jump in the big leaf piles, roll down the hills, put your hands in the dirt… you can always get clean again, but you can never get those moments back where you get to stop and just become a part of everything around you.
I have been wishing and wishing and wishing for more snow every day for weeks now, and I finally put my wish in writing the other day. That must have worked, because last night while I was dreaming about snow, snow actually fell from the sky again. I woke up this morning to it, and I was edgy at the window and waiting for what seemed like forever to actually get out to play in it.
Daddy said something about needing breakfast and vitamins and to get dressed, but those things just didn’t seem to matter nearly as much as they usually do in the morning (although I admit that it was really cold, and getting bundled up was a good idea, Daddy).
Once all those boring things were done, though, I got all snug in my warm jacket and mittens and hat and snow boots and we all headed outside. We only had a little bit of snow, so I didn’t need my snowsuit on, I just got to go out to play. I ran and ran and ran around in the snow in circles and all around our yard, eating the snow everywhere that I went.
I played out there for so long that I was cold from the bones out, but I didn’t care because this is probably our very last snow for the year. Mama says that she hopes that it warms up soon, and I guess I do too because it will be closer to swimming outside and playground time, but I am going to miss my white, fluffy friend when it does. Until next year, my snow friend, and thanks for coming out to play one more time.
That’s me looking into Daddy’s camera and pushing the little click-and-take-a-picture button. When you push that button, it takes that one moment and freezes it in time. I like that– I am frozen there with funny faces and smiles. I see my big sister Addie and my big, big sister Lilli take pictures of themselves all the time, so why not me? Even Mama gets into it and takes pictures with me or my big sister or when she is somewhere that is really pretty.
These pictures are called “selfies”so I hear, and I am quickly becoming an expert. I already know, because everyone tells me, that I am “cute” and “beautiful.” Those sound like wonderful words, and by taking these freeze moments of myself, I am sharing that cuteness with my family and my future self when I get bigger. It is my cute, beautiful, silly, funny self frozen in time for all the world to see. “Selfies” aren’t bad, they are face art, and my art is gorgeous.
See me? That’s my “beautification” going on. That is my Mama’s fluffy makeup brush. Mama uses it in the morning when she is getting ready for her day along with other things that paint her face a little and make it smoother looking. My Mama says that it makes her look less tired from running after me and more “alive.” You are always alive, Mama, so I don’t get that, but I know why you want to be fancy. I always want to be fancy with necklaces and bracelets and pretty clothes with my favorite characters, and I can even dress up like Supergirl sometimes and be really, really fancy. (Poor Mama, she doesn’t have a Supergirl costume, so she has to settle for regular clothes and be fancy with jewelry and makeup. She says she is not a fancy girl, though, so I guess she doesn’t mind.)
When my Mama gets ready, I get ready too. I brush my teeth with her, sometimes trying to steal her toothbrush instead of using my little Yoda one, and I brush my hair with her and get a little “scrunchie” in my hair so that I won’t look “like a sheepdog” as Mama says. I say, “out of the eyes” to let her know that I am ready to get my hair pretty so that I can go and get busy messing it up again and again.
The last thing Mama does is put on makeup. She says “not too much” because she says that you just want to put on enough to look a bit brighter like the stars in the sky, but you don’t want to shine like the big moon that’s up there. I want to be the moon though, so when I get hold of Mama’s lipstick, and I have, I put it on at least 3 times in a row just to make sure that I have it exactly right. I am not good at aim yet, though, so Mama has to clean up my face art a bit after I am done.
The brush thing is for your whole face, and she calls what she puts on bronzer. She says it is “just that little glow to make you shine.” Well I like shining, and I shine all of the time just by being me, but I want to be sparkly, too. Mama puts a teeny bit on the brush, and then I put it on just like my Mama. I want to do everything just like her since I am learning, but I want to do it myself. I dab and swirl and make face art, and then Mama tells me that I am “beautiful.” I love the sound of that word. I am beautiful, and so is Mama even without the skin stuff that she puts on. I like her best at night when I wake up and I am sad. She doesn’t have makeup on then, but when she snuggles me to sleep, she is at her most beautiful I think. Makeup isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be… snuggling is beauty.
That said, I still like the sparkly face stuff, and I will keep putting it on just like Mama, and I will be a sparkly, beautiful, happy me.
Well, hello there, giraffe friend. I have a stuffed animal buddy that is one of you that I snuggle with at night. He came all the way from NYC, but I hear that your family is way, way far away all the way in a place called Africa. I saw it on our big family map in our eating room, and it is an awfully long way from where we are in the United States.
My buddy has a long neck, but he isn’t big at all like you, and your neck is way longer. Maybe he is a long lost cousin of yours.
When you let me pet you so gently (I was very careful because my Daddy told me to touch you softly), you rubbed against my face, and your fur was short and a little bit rough against my skin. When I gave you food your tongue went around my whole hand, but you were so, so gentle. When you looked at me, your eyes were soft and sparkly. I know that you aren’t in Africa, but you seemed peaceful when you looked at me.
One big thing that Mama and Daddy are teaching me is a love for all animals everywhere. We do our best not to hurt anything, so we don’t eat animals or wear animals or go places where animals aren’t happy. You seemed happy though in your home, the Living Treasures Wild Animal Park, and you gave happiness to me, too.
Thank you, giraffe buddy, for sharing the day with me. I hope that you loved me as much as I loved you.