Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Start. I Got This “Old Game” Stuff Down Pat.
Okay, Daddy, I know how this Ninja Gaiden game works now. You have to avoid those birds, see? They are coming for you, Daddy, and you have to make sure that you get them before they get you. Watch out, Daddy, they are dangerous and it is so easy to die in this little world where you can only go sideways.
Oh Daddy, you are making me so nervous watching. I have seen you and Mama die a lot trying to get through this world. I know how the controller works, so as soon as I am finished eating the delicious food, I can get it, okay, Daddy? Watch out for this next part, Daddy– it’s the part where all of the things come at you at once, and if you don’t get the timing right…
Oh, Daddy, I tried to tell you what to do. Game over, Daddy, game over.